We do everything in our power to make our kids feel loved, and understanding Children’s Love Languages helps us do it in the most meaningful way. Whether it’s packing their favorite snacks, kissing their boo-boos, or cheering the loudest at school events, we put our hearts into showing we care. Yet, despite all our efforts, they sometimes crave more—more hugs, more time, more kind words. That’s because every child experiences love differently.
Dr. Gary Chapman’s concept of The Five Love Languages isn’t just for adults; it applies to kids as well. When we understand how our child receives love, we can nurture their emotional well-being more effectively. Some little ones light up with words of affirmation, while others thrive on quality time or physical touch. Acts of service and receiving gifts also play a role in how children feel valued. By discovering our child’s unique love language, we can fill their hearts in ways that matter most to them.
1. Physical Touch: Hugs, Snuggles, and More
Some kids thrive on physical affection. If your child constantly wants to sit in your lap, hold your hand, or cuddle before bed, physical touch may be their love language.
Ways to Show Love:
💛 Start the day with a warm hug.
💛 Hold hands while walking together.
💛 Snuggle up for bedtime stories.
💛 Offer gentle back rubs when they’re upset.
💛 Playfully wrestle or give high-fives to show affection in an active way.
For these kids, a hug after a tough day speaks louder than words.
2. Words of Affirmation: Love in Every Sentence
Some children light up with words of encouragement. If your little one frequently says, “Mom, do you love me?” or beams when you praise them, they may need verbal reassurance.
Ways to Show Love:
💛 Say “I love you” often—out loud, in notes, or texts (if they’re old enough!).
💛 Compliment their efforts, not just their achievements: “I saw how hard you worked on that puzzle—great job!”
💛 Write little notes and tuck them in their lunchbox or under their pillow.
💛 Encourage them when they struggle: “I believe in you. You can do this.”
💛 Celebrate their unique personality: “I love how kind you are to your friends.”
For these kids, words carry weight, so make sure they hear love often.
3. Quality Time: Undivided Attention
Does your child beg for “Mommy, play with me!” or want you to watch every little thing they do? If so, their love language might be quality time—where they feel most valued when you give them your full attention.
Ways to Show Love:
💛 Set aside one-on-one time, even if it’s just 10 minutes a day.
💛 Put your phone away and really listen when they talk.
💛 Plan special “Mom & Me” dates—picnics, ice cream outings, or movie nights.
💛 Involve them in daily tasks like cooking or grocery shopping to make it fun together.
💛 Create bedtime rituals like telling stories or talking about their day.
For these kids, love isn’t about how much time you spend but about how present you are in those moments.
4. Acts of Service: Love Through Actions
Some children feel most loved when you do things for them. If your child asks for help with tasks they can do themselves or appreciates when you fix their broken toy, their love language might be acts of service.
Ways to Show Love:
💛 Help with homework—not just doing it for them, but guiding them patiently.
💛 Surprise them by making their favorite meal or snack.
💛 Fix something that’s important to them (a torn book, a missing puzzle piece).
💛 Set up little things they love, like laying out their pajamas for bedtime.
💛 Teach them new skills, like how to tie their shoes or bake cookies together.
For these kids, actions truly speak louder than words.
5. Gifts: Thoughtful Tokens of Love
Before you panic—this doesn’t mean materialism! For some kids, gifts are symbols of love rather than just “stuff.” If your child treasures small trinkets, keeps old birthday cards, or gets excited over surprise treats, their love language might be gifts.
Ways to Show Love:
💛 Leave little surprises like a sticker, a rock from your walk, or a handmade card.
💛 Gift them a book or toy that reminds them of a shared memory (e.g., “We saw a squirrel on our walk, so I got you this squirrel plushie!”).
💛 Celebrate milestones with a small token, like a note of encouragement.
💛 Make a scrapbook or a memory jar of your adventures together.
💛 Occasionally surprise them with their favorite treat—just because!
For these kids, gifts are tangible reminders of your love, not just objects.
How to Discover Your Child’s Love Language
Every child is unique, and they may even have more than one love language. Here’s how to find out what speaks to your child’s heart:
❤️ Observe how they show love to you. Do they give hugs, say “I love you,” or bring you little gifts? Kids often express love in the way they want to receive it.
❤️ Listen to their requests. Do they ask you to play with them, tuck them in, or watch them do something? Their requests reveal what they crave emotionally.
❤️ Try different love languages and see what lights them up the most. Experiment and notice which gestures make them happiest.
Love That Lasts a Lifetime
Understanding your child’s love language isn’t about doing more—it’s about doing what matters most. When we love our kids in a way they understand, we build a foundation of security, confidence, and connection that lasts a lifetime.
So, mama, whether it’s an extra snuggle, a heartfelt “I’m proud of you,” or setting aside time just for them—keep loving your little one in their language. Because no matter how they receive it, a mother’s love is the greatest gift of all. ❤️
Start today by observing how your child expresses love and make a small, intentional effort to speak their love language. What love language do you think your child has? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments!
