*Trigger Warning: This is pure and absolute from my own experience; I am not saying we are same with our paths and I am not here either to recommend you to become like me. I am just here to share what I have been through and how I am finally getting out of here.
Because why not? You might learn something out of it.
This is your sign ✨
Rebuild Yourself Today! Many of us choose to be silent while hurting not because we don’t need help, but because of those unwanted criticize and judgment. As the saying goes, “It is better to be alone, than to be not understood” because truthfully, how can you explain what you have been going through if you cannot understand what you are feeling? and how can you say that you are struggling because of them without hurting them too? How hard that can be.
Fighting alone with depression is like a hell. You are fighting yourself to save yourself; you are living while feeling dead. But honestly speaking, we are not really alone with this fight since many of us in the world is having the same silent battle. The feeling of no desire to live, worthless, hopeless, self-sabotage, isolation, not eating nor sleeping and sometimes even want to harm yourself. Think that is hard? Coping is much harder than you think.
So let’s say, your darker days are slowly fading away and you are seeing light that encourages you to stand up and begin again. Would you want to take the chance to rebuild yourself today?
But first things first, in order to rebuild yourself up you have to acknowledge all the feelings you have deep inside. Your rage and pain. Think about the hurtful events that you’ve been through and all the people that cause it.
In my case, I just caught myself talking in front of the mirror staring at the one ugly crying baby and I asked her “Is that all you can do? Cry and care what other people think about you? Does crying makes anything difference? Or you just want to accept the fact that they are right and you are really a worthless?” and you know after that? my tears went dry and my mind started to think, why?
“Why are they doing this to me? Why am I letting this people control my life?
They do not own me literally. I have a life for myself.”
The Help from Above ☝🏼
Even with those endless whys, I know I won’t get answers without God’s help. Yes, the second thing you must do is to seek help and guidance on the high above. Because even when you are down right now and feeling hopeless with everything around you, there will always be an answer from Him.
Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” and Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” saying that God will not necessarily deliver people from troubles, but he will provide the strength and hope to thrive through them.
Sounds comforting? It’s true! Whatever your religion is and whoever you are believing, He will always be the one who will be there for us. Let me tell you this, whenever the dark comes in again and our mind starting to overthink- pray. It is okay to cry and be scared but never forget that there is someone who will actually listens. Prayer works no matter who and what we are.
Take the Baby-Steps
Next is do your normal you while slowly cutting what’s rotten. Cutting off people in your life is really necessary especially if they are the one who makes you suffer from mentally and physically. Don’t be bother with the relationship you have. Being friends or family are not reason to be exempted, you don’t need them if they are toxic.
Besides, rebuild yourself today with the same people won’t work. Surround yourself with good and positive people that actually cares, because your environment can have a big impact on your growth. Never settle for less, learn to protect your peace.
Lastly, start to dream again and think about the future. Don’t let yourself be stuck and suffer in circles. Break the cycle if you can! Change the direction, choose another path. Do what makes you happy and learn to priority yourself because if you won’t, who else then? If someday you are seeing yourself having doubts and you are feeling like in the dark again, don’t be afraid to start over and over again.
Life is not a race, let’s just enjoy the ups and downs while fulfilling our purpose.
You can also read to these articles to help you cope with depression and gives you practices to start your day. Decluttering your environment can help to boost your mood too, read them here.
How about you? How are you feeling today?
Feel free to share it here with me.
